Posted by 7 on Sep 16, 2010 in Knowledge, Philosophy, Random, Uncategorized, thoughts
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. Some examples:
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for President and 50 for Miss America ?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Tags: paraprosdokian, Philosophy, thoughts, words
Posted by 7 on May 17, 2010 in Uncategorized
Hi guys and girls!
I’ve added a new page on to the Lifeof7.com site specifically to showcase Jilna’s talent. For those of you who don’t know, Jilna is my lovely gorgeous wife.
Take a look at the page for Jilna Gosrani here and let me know your thoughts.
Enjoy!
Posted by 7 on Apr 26, 2010 in Uncategorized
I’ve just changed some settings so that my website www.lifeof7.com can now be viewed on your iPhone!
If you can’t see the site properly in iPhone format, go to the bottom of the page, and turn the switch saying “Mobile View” to “On”!
Simple! Let me know your thoughts!
Posted by 7 on Dec 18, 2009 in Uncategorized
For the past couple of days (coming close to a week) I’ve tried many different things to exclude certain pages from my wordpress Blog menu.
At the top of the page you will see the links to other pages. Some of these I didn’t want to show up and wanted other people to see them when I sent the link, but not show up in the navigation.
I tried to amend the code in the header. I tried to make the page ‘Private’ (but this just meant that only I could view them.
Now I’ve tried a plugin. It works! And it’s so easy!! WOOHOO!
- Go to: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/exclude-pages/ ,
- Download the file
- Go to your wordpress Admin section
- Click on ‘Add new’ under the plugins tab
- Upload the zip file you just downloaded
-Activate.
Then all you have to do is create or edit one of your pages, and then under the “Exclude Pages” section UNCLICK the ‘Include this page in user menus’.
Simple!
I hope this helps! Enjoy!
Posted by 7 on Oct 16, 2009 in Uncategorized
This is great. The big man has passed on his Diwali and New Year greetings to everyone.
Truly a gentleman!
And on that note: A Happy Diwali and Prosperous New Year to all from Sawan (Me), Jilna (My Wife), Dinesh (Dad), Suraj (Brother), Heena (Brother’s Wife) Jitu (Dad-in-law), Priti (Mum-in-law), Mishna (Jilna’s sister), Ba (Dad-in-law’s mum), Bapuji (Dad-in-Law’s dad) and Nanima (Mum-in-law’s mum), and from all those who have touched our lives and passed on…
Posted by 7 on Jul 17, 2009 in Uncategorized
The Metropolitan Police’s mission statement is simply “Working together for a safer London”
What would you think when someone mentioned the police, or you saw them driving around?
I know my initial thoughts would be:
- A group who enforce the law
- Who ensure others practice the law
- Practice the law fully themselves whilst setting an example
- Create a safer environment for the public.
I want to highlight on the point “…Practice the law fully themselves whilst setting an example…”
I was driving back home earlier and I saw something which really made me think. I saw a police officer in a police van driving down the road. In the space of 30 – 45 seconds I saw a number of things which I would question “What is going on?”
1) A car was parked up on the side, with their hazards on, blatantly picking someone up. Not a problem I hear you ask… This was a narrow road with just enough space for 2 cars to pass without having someone stop on the side. The car that stopped had caused a small tailback and a safety hazard. This police van just drove straight past it without slowing down or pretty much blinking an eyelid.
2) On approaching the roundabout the police van was going into the 2nd exit, and note this roundabout had 3 exits, The one he came from, and 2 others he could go into. You’d think that he would observe basic traffic rules such as… I don’t know… SIGNALLING?? Not a chance in happyville! Not only did he NOT signal right for the exit he wanted to go to, he proceeded to NOT signal left upon his entry into the exit. As drivers we’ve always been told to signal properly so that the other road drivers and users can be informed. I know some drivers don’t do this but for an organisation to not do this is appalling.
3) On getting to his exit, the policeman put on his left signal for about a quarter of a second and went up on to the pavement to park IMMEDIATELY after an island. Safety hazard? Yup! You betcha!
4) [And this one takes the cake]. I thought to myself, ok… maybe it’s a raid or something with the big van, or some important business that he had to jump on to the pavement. As I passed the van, I saw another policeman getting out of the passenger side. As I went ahead, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the second policeman…. Taking out his BICYCLE from the back.
So what was the conclusion??? Yup. One policeman giving a lift to his mate and ignoring 2 to 3 traffic rules and ignoring a potential road hazard.
Nice. And this is where our taxes are going. Makes you think doesn’t it…?
Tags: Metropolitan, police, Road Safety, Traffic Rules
Posted by 7 on Jul 9, 2009 in Uncategorized
Hey there guys.
There’s an opportunity to join the VideoSoundandPhoto.com support team.
They need help with filming and editing across the country and there’s a cash incentive involved.
Check out http://www.videosoundandphoto.com/support-team-opportunity/
Enjoy!
Posted by 7 on Jul 8, 2009 in Uncategorized
If you’ve ever had to have a photo of yourself countersigned for things like passport pictures, what is the first profession you would think of going to? Doctor? Accountant?
Yup.. these were my first 2 guesses. And you’d be right to go to them. But have you thought of any other profession?
Here’s a list of other professions you can ask from the DirectGov website. I especially like the one about director/manager/personnel officer of a VAT-registered company. How many people do you know who own their own business and are VAT-Registered? Check out the list here:-
Your countersignatory should be a professional person or a person of good standing in the community. The list that follows gives examples of the type of person that would be suitable. If you are not sure who to ask you can call the IPS Passport Adviceline on 0300 222 0000.
• accountant
• airline pilot
• articled clerk of a limited company
• assurance agent of recognised company
• bank/building society official
• barrister
• chairman/director of limited company
• chiropodist
• commissioner of oaths
• councillor (local or county)
• civil servant (permanent), but not someone who works for IPS
• dentist
• director/manager of a VAT-registered charity
• director/manager/personnel officer of a VAT-registered company
• engineer (with professional qualifications)
• financial services intermediary (eg a stockbroker or insurance broker)
• fire service official
• funeral director
• insurance agent (full time) of a recognised company
• journalist
• Justice of the Peace
• legal secretary (fellow or associate member of the Institute of Legal Secretaries and PAs)
• licensee of public house
• local government officer
• manager/personnel officer (of a limited company)
• member, associate or fellow of a professional body
• Member of Parliament
• Merchant Navy officer
• minister of a recognised religion (including Christian Science)
• nurse (RGN and RMN)
• officer of the armed services (active or retired)
• optician
• paralegal (certified paralegal, qualified paralegal or associate member of the Institute of Paralegals)
• person with honours (an OBE or MBE, for example)
• pharmacist
• photographer (professional)
• police officer
• Post Office official
• president/secretary of a recognised organisation
• Salvation Army officer
• social worker
• solicitor
• surveyor
• teacher, lecturer
• trade union officer
• travel agent (qualified)
• valuer or auctioneer (fellows and associate members of the incorporated society)
• Warrant Officers and Chief Petty Officers
Posted by 7 on Jul 8, 2009 in Uncategorized
Oh My Gosh… I can’t believe it.
I flicked over to CH4 today and there was a nude lady posing for a portrait.
Not at some random time of the night… But this was on at 12:30 this afternoon. Yes! Literally only 15 minutes ago!
How can they show this kind of thing on TV at this time of the day??? Don’t they realise there are children at home who just flick through channels???
I’m totally outraged!
Posted by 7 on Jul 7, 2009 in Uncategorized
Hey guys and girls!
Wow! It’s really been a long time since I’ve put up a post! How are you all? Well I hope!
I’ve been really busy with work and wedding preparations… Yup! You heard right! I’m getting married! To Miss Jilna Haria, soon to be the new Mrs Gosrani! I can’t believe there’s only 34 days left till we’re officially Mr and Mrs Gosrani…
It’s going to be an awesome time with family coming from all across the world, the 2 families meeting each other and best of all… The Food! Haha! Just kidding Jilna… The best bit is I’ll have this amazing, gorgeous, wonderful, caring, lovable, (I could go on all night), girl as my wife. To hold hand in hand, forever in my heart.
I’m sure I’ll be back soon for more updates about what’s been happening but I better rush off right now. Speak to you all soon!
Sawan.
